Weight & Relationships

Good Evening:
Kind of a lazy saturday, went and did Cardio w/my BFF Jen today.
It was awesome, went to Eastmont Golds arounf noon, it was like a ghost town, hardly anyone there.
After a good qorkout came home and was acrually looking forward to my 8 oz's of protien and my cup of brown rice.
Last week and this week I am on 1400 calories and starting next week down to 1200.
I am feeling so awesome and it is so funny how much better one feels after working out.
Jen and I are going to go in the morning again.
As those of you who know me, know.....I have not been successfull at all in relationships, I have always felt I was a very confident BBW. And I have been very independent and sure of myself.
As I stated before I have always chose men whom I felt needed me to tke care of them.
I had a good friend say something to me a few months ago, that somewhat bruised my ego...she said perhaps I always chose this type of man, perhaps because I felt deep down that I never deserved better and that in order to allow myself to be with someone who would love me and care for me, i would first need to love myself.
I thought at first...what the hell is she talking about... I love myself and I have never had any problem getting a date or having a man in my life.
But 3 weeks ago I came to the realization....SHE IS RIGHT!
My MO has always been to find a man I can care for, to buy things for, to do things for and who I felt needed me. And if an idependent man, able to take care and do for himslef, financially independant, love me for me kind of guy ever showed any interest in me....scart the heck out of me, I would always find little things that I felt bothered me about him... I knw now tht this was my way of not being interested in him.
I have heard comments from a few peope since starting this challenge....you will be amazed at all the men that are going to be looking at you, paying attention to you and be interested in you after you start working out and getting fit.
My thought was.. the hell w/them if they dont like me the say I am now, they do not deserve to have me.
But I realized something after the 2nd week of my diet and my working out....it wasnt ever rally that it was because necessarly becasuse I would be getting skinny and slender or that I would be prettier once I lost weight. But it is because in losing the weight, dieting, eating healthier and working out and getting fit, I am starting to find me again, I am so happy inside and out, I am so much more confident and bubbly, fun and more attractive inside, which changes the whole way I look on the outside to others.
When you are happy and healthy on the inside it carries through, it transfers and shows on the outside, both physiclly, menatlly and emotionally.
You feel sexy, you feel confident and you take such pride in yourself and the way you are caring for yourself and it is seen by those around you.
I know now that I deserve this, I need this and first and foremost......I am in Love....yes in Love.....I am in love with myself again for the first itme since I do not even remember.
<:AtomicElement>In closing, I would like to Thank everyone who loved me before and I want to invite you on this beautiful journey....but most important take time out each and every day and learn to love yourself again....
<:AtomicElement>Good night and sweet dreams
<:AtomicElement>T